Starcasing

it was twice!

i wish..(the other nite)i was born again
along with myth which is said that the new year is the whole new era!new brand person!(well the better one of course)

but next second i realized
i was born again yet to be someone new...but not the one i thought i would
i dunno what exactly is goin on deep inside here but
just a few minutes ago i did punch the wall!i did hit it!
twice!
with my allnaked right fist and it happened too fast so i couldnt measure what the speed and the strength was
but it was pretty strong i supposed
and flatness feeling unavoidingly followed and take a charge...
my fist..the right one, it was suppose to be hurt...and it was!it is!frankly..
but my mind, my brain...somehow it just refused all these pain stimulants that had ran through my veins
so...i felt nothing!
nothing..

i was all gone blank..for another second all voices around me seems fading out
but my eyes still focus at that moment
i thought im about to fainted but no
i was totally awake and my conscience... is still here..with me
and of course my provocative emotionally problems havent solved yet (do'ooohh)
and another second, i did nothing but silent
breathing still but quite silent
i received nothing but my own thought
my damn own thought...(sigh)

posted by pema @ 12:41 AM